My body is not your, or anybody's, property.

Sexism is for Dicks

One night, at a very small dinner gathering, there I was with my mother and sister at our family friend’s house. Everything was great and light until our family friend’s friend joined the table. At first, he seemed very friendly and nice, probably still is lol. However, his attitude changed when caught a look at my rings. I wear two rings, the one my mother gave me for my 17th birthday, and the one my brother gave me as a graduation present.

But the “problem” was and apparently is that I wear the one my mother gave me on my left-hand ring finger, as I was told by this man. Granted I am a lefty and love to show it off and look at it every chance I get, especially when I am writing lol! Now when this man saw that I wear my rings as such, he felt obligated to inform me on the “Biblical Law” of wearing a ring on such finger, especially if you are not engaged nor married… big mistake hehe.

He took the initiative to state his proposition on how I choose to wear jewelry on MY body. Cute, right? Yeah, NO! In doing so, this man proceeded to make it seem as if I was sinning against some precious principle and dared to ask me if I believe in God. I was, and still am, confused… are you!?

I respectfully answered yes.

But pause… just because I believe in God does not mean I believe in all ideas and beliefs associated with Him nor do I have to believe in what you believe in. Not to mention, that I do not have to believe in God at all! I have my own God/Goddesses, or as I’d like to say spirits of positivity, love happiness and success, that I worship and they were not established from the traditional bible.

He took the initiative to state his proposition on how I choose to wear jewelry on MY body.

I expressed my opposition to his proposition yet this man continued to profoundly and aggressively educate me on the everlasting and cherished meaning behind such finger. He even took it upon himself to state that when I am in the club and guys come up to me to flirt but then see my ring they will run away… like Really dude? I am laughing right now… are you?

First of all, If a guy has any interest in me whatsoever, simply ask me if I am single. It is not rocket science. However, if my answer is no, well then… you know to keep it steppin! Because of my strong debatable nature and outspoken self, I, of course, continued to express my indifference of his opinion, due to me cherishing my own. Enough with these heteronormative, sexist, and patriarchal beliefs sought to oppress women.

As I left this gathering, I was honestly very upset and frustrated by the fact that this man was trying his hardest to school me on some archaic politicized institution. He was becoming pretty heated to the point where he was expecting me to remove my ring onto my right hand! Lol, what? Ahhh no, I do not think so! As the young classy woman that I am, I sat there, poised and serene, with a slight “I do not care” face and proceeded to stand my ground and DEFEND myself.

What I do not understand is, how me wearing a ring on any finger is a nuisance to you? How does that affect you? Because guess what it is none of your business nor is it anyone’s business.

But pause, again, hahaha because this story gets better! This man, that was so-called trying to “educate” me, by no means did he succeed, is supposedly married yet proceeded to hit on my mother and was NOT wearing his wedding band!!! Ummm… I am confused… Are you? That, my lovely readers, is what you call a DOUBLE STANDARD, you know what society says men can do but women cannot! If you know me well, you know I am not with that nor will ever be.

Enough with these heteronormative, sexist, and patriarchal beliefs sought to oppress women.

Overall, this man was trying to make me understand that women are “obligated” to only wear a ring on their left-hand ring finger if they are engaged or married to signify they belong to someoneHmmm…  Excuse me?

Hahaha, well the last time I checked I was never and will never be any man or woman’s property. I may believe in a higher power or two but I do not believe in the objectification of women. I will not be belittled as a woman nor should any woman be. We women are not property. We women are not only worthy because of our bodies. I am not a commodity and neither are you.

You want to keep checking me? Well, checkmate boo boo. Because guess what? We are in 2017. Oh, and here is a little history lesson, once upon a time when marriage was created long ago, it was not for the intended purpose of love. Marriage was created solely to gain social, economic, and political benefits; such as status.

This ultimately, pinned women against each other to establish who is successful and who is not as well as who is worthy and who is not.

Not only was a married woman seen as a man’s property but she was seen as superior to women who were not married. Although the institution of marriage has grown tremendously, gender roles, within marriage, exist immensely.

Enough with these heteronormative, sexist, and patriarchal beliefs sought to oppress women.

Make no mistake, I am not diminishing those who are married at all! If you are I wholeheartedly wish you and your significant other the best journey of eternal love, positivity, and happiness.

I just want to make it clear, that the institution of marriage is NOT for everybody. Everybody has their own views and perceptions of life. Everybody has their own beliefs. I respect your opinion and beliefs, therefore respect mine.

As of right now, I, personally do not believe in marriage, meaning I do not have any plans to wed in the future. I never said never. However, I feel pretty sure; even though, I still have a wedding Pinterest board that I created gazillion years ago lol, guilty.. yes I know.

Therefore, if anyone has a problem with that please feel free to subscribe, leave me a comment, or just scurry off to far away land.

Otherwise, I will be enjoying my life, engagement ring or not; wedding band or not.

Sexism is for dicks.

Haha, I will still be here, and still be innocently fierce. 

XoXoo,

Innocyentia

p.s. I would love to hear where you stand on this! Share your thoughts in the comment section below!

10 thoughts on “Sexism is for Dicks

  1. I do not wear an engagement ring but i would like to have some light shed onto the fact that you do not believe in marriage yet have a wedding pinterest board probably full of wedding pics…Are you saying that you would not totally be 100% against marriage if oh (i don’t know) your future lover decides to propose and what not?

    1. Hahahaaaa, well that is a great question! I mean I cannot predict the future; however, I am pretty serious as to not wanting to wed in the future. How about my lover and I “making things officially official” through some other practice or so? Something creative and different… I do not know. I just do not feel nor believe that I need to sign a piece of paper to prove my love and commitment to the person I am with, vice versa. If you love me and only want to be with me, then you love me and only want to be with me. Quite simple, huh? 😉
      p.s. My Pinterest Wedding board is still up as I have created it years ago. But I am working on taking it down soon.

  2. Are you single?
    But seriously, this is a weird story.
    Even, I didn’t know about those so-called rules about rings wearing and stuff and that someone will scold someone else about the proper way to wear them especially if this latter herself doesn’t know about these archaic rules

      1. Weird because I can’t imagine someone caring about rings that much.
        Where do I stand in ring wearing? Marriage? Male and female role in society and vis-a-vis each other ?

        By the way, is that a snap on your profile pic? What’s your Snap Chat ?

      2. I meant it’s weird for a stranger to approach another stranger just to go on a rant about how you should wear your jewelry…
        Why would he think everyone else shares his beliefs
        Does that answer the question?

      3. I suppose.
        Personally if I saw you at a party, I would ask you whether you think that we are finally living in a true Nietzsche world where we all know that God is truly dead but we keep it alive as a vessel for the values that we wish to obtain and achieve and that the goal of life is no longer to reach heaven but rather for all humanity to build a common “Ubernensch” with values acceptable for everyone… and also I would ask you what da mouf do and to come fuck with a real nigga…

      4. I want to apologize for using the f-word.
        I was trying to deliver a joke by ending a metaphysical comment with a sudden ignorant and sexist comment…
        I thought it’d be funny since I imagine you wouldn’t expect it and you’d be caught off-guard, but reading the comment back now, I just realized it was just crude… 🙇

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