Stand strong and embrace who you are. Beauty is the essence of confidence.

My Natural Hair Story.

I remember when I was a little girl, I hated when it was time for my mom to do my hair! I dreaded that comb and brush running through my kinks, those tight tiny elastics used to make twists and that blue magic hair grease being applied to my hair. I would have a storm of tears running down my face, just as that comb broke in my hair. I especially, ESPECIALLY hated the time it took!

Now, when I was just about in my pre-teens, there was something about my look that I so desperately wanted to change… my HAIR. Watching all the girls at school, on TV, and in magazines, with silky straight hair, I could not help but feel… unbeautiful. I was so focused on “that look” the look society repeatedly loves to portray as beautiful, that I begged and so desperately begged my mother for a hair relaxer/perm. *I was a hormonal pre-teenage girl going through puberty…I just wanted to feel beautiful too…*

So… after my thirteenth birthday, my mother finally budged and let me relax my hair… YIKES! But, I sure felt good and like the next Tyra Banks lol! When I mean I was all up in the mirror with a brush, comb, and camera every day… I really was! I felt cute and confident. And deep down inside, I felt as though I would be accepted MORE if I had straight hair. But the problem was, I felt that I finally fitted in…

…I just wanted to feel beautiful too…

Now, the problem with this is that no one should ever feel obligated or pressured to “fit in!” Whether it is due to their hair, skin color, weight or personality! Fitting in should NOT, by no means, be a necessity, requirement or “philosophy” to making friends or feeling good about yourself.

…”deep down inside, I felt as though I would be accepted MORE…”

*As I tried embracing the look that mother nature created for me, I was yet unable to see what everyone else saw in me. I felt unworthy, unbeautiful and… so much more. I criticized myself so badly that I started to believe it all more and more… every day.

However, over time I began to realize that I may not have “the look” that society portrays as beautiful but I do have the mind, soul, and dedication that a lot of people crave for.

Now, as I tried “embracing” this new hair, I could not help but feel as though I was losing myself… like I wasn’t living as the real me. *I hope I am making sense?!* It was as if I was missing a piece of who I truly was… The relaxer was not only a painful process that I had to go through every three months but it was an emotional process as well.

Despite the abundance of rules that came with maintaining this hair, the “creamy crack” not only stipped my hair of its healthy and stability… but stripped me of my identity and self-dignity.

Therefore, I began conducting my own research on natural hair, a term referred only to hair those of African descent or of the Black race- very important differentiation between the two.

From articles and blogs to YouTube videos, my eyes opened and noticed something… BEAUTIFUL. What I learned and discovered was truly amazing and beautiful! I learned: what it really meant to be natural, the political and social history of natural hair and how versatile, unique and beautiful natural hair is. I became so inspired and confident enough to take initiative to embrace who I really was… who I am.

“My hair doesn’t NEED to be fixed. Society’s view of beauty is what’s broken.”

After learning about other women who struggled to embark on their natural hair journey but then found the inspiration and love to embrace their hair identity, motivated me immensely. At that point, I was in LOVE with the Natural Hair Movement. I still am today! Therefore, on October 14th, 2012, I finally decided to go natural, which changed my life for the better, FOREVER.

If you are natural or want to go natural share your story and thoughts in the comment section below!

 

XoXoo,

Innocyentia

 

39 thoughts on “My Natural Hair Story.

  1. Them teenage years are tough, man.
    I wished I knew what I did now but funny enough, I wouldn’t go back if I could…
    Them bad experiences and feeling of insecurities shaped me and changing those would make me a different person.
    I consider my teenage years as tattoos that remind me of who I was and who I inspire to be…

    1. Yes, teenage years are rough as social status is a priority. Which is not ok and can really cause damage early on… one of the reasons I created this blog. But yes, I agree that our teen years are tattoos that serve as a reminder of who we were and who we have become😊

      1. Humans are social animals.
        The earliest you can figure yourself out, the better
        With all those hormonal changes happening, it’s just kinda painful

      2. Yes, we are social animals.. as in we gain energy and thrive off of social status sure. However, one never truly nor completely figures themselves out early on. We learn something new every second of every day and therefore are constantly evolving and transforming. It takes time to figure yourself out, especially is the systems in society at the time, early on, do not support or accept you.

      3. Here you go again with the theme of self vs society
        I find that unique to Americans. You people grow up with an inflated sense of self (no disrespect given hopefully, none taken), but never learn how to mesh that self with the rest of American society.
        America is a land that still struggles to accomplish what you guys call: “the melting pot”.
        It’s such an interesting thing to observe

      4. No theme of self vs society here. It is called the systems of oppression that are embedded in society by default. If you are just here, “passing through and observing,” I suggest you reread some of America’s history textbooks or look at the concrete facts presented in front of you. Ever heard if Jim Crow laws?

      5. I love reading history… but that’s all it is history.

        I just don’t see any of the racial power dynamics from the past present here.
        I truly believed that most of the current generation has learned from it
        I really think America is transforming itself into a real meritocracy.
        The only thing that is really left to break through is the current class structure that is preventing the country to be truly more equitable.

      6. “But that’s all it is history.” Well, of course you do not see any of the racial power dynamics from the past present here! The political climate has evolved and transformed and will continue too. Basic Law of Evolutionary Science.
        So, Donald Trump wanting to build a wall around Mexico and him calling Haiti and Africa shitholes, is not sufficient evidence of any racial power dynamics going on? Or the KKK’s resurrection even?
        I can see where you believe the current class structure is preventing the country to be truly more equitable, sure. However, where does that stem from? For instance, what class does society often associate people of color with?

      7. When it comes to Trump, I think he pushed itself into a corner trying to be as extreme on immigration, documented or not for dealmaking purposes that there’s no going back for him. I can’t tell you what’s in his heart, except that he’s bringing down the way America is perceived
        Stop it with the KKK bs. They’re a fringe of the fringe now with no power. Most of their members are FBI double agents. The rise of the alt-right has more to do with white consciousness than supremacy from what I have seen and read.

        For the last question, I can’t tell you how others think.
        I’m aware of stereotypes, but I look at each people individually and I don’t think much of people I don’t know

      8. So, what do you think of people exactly when you see them? What comes to mind? You cannot tell me what is in Trumps heart? Can you tell me what is in America’s?

      9. Nope!
        All I say is how I see stuff and what my worldview is.
        But I can say that America is mostly an idea that is very open to interpretation, depending on the people doing the interpretation.

      10. Germans have a better word for it. It calls a “Weltanschauung”
        It means an understanding of the universe and the human’s relation with the said universe.
        I never said it came out of thin air or from the womb

      11. Woah! Where do I begin?
        I was nothing more than a wee little child when I read Booker T. Washington and the writings of Thomas Sowell…
        It’s worth saying that I am a most believer in social Darwinism…
        la dee da la dee da
        and here I am

      12. Social Darwinism is what the world needs in the face of climate change, current political climate, and the recent surge of nationalism…

      13. And this is coming from the same person who believes that the political climate has nothing to do with monopolizing one’s destiny?
        And the recent surge of nationalism, care to provide an example?

      14. I meant political climate as the rise of extremist from the right and the left, leaving people in the middle with no choice. It’s very polarizing right now, and that’s not okay.
        Here- India- England almost every country in Eastern Europe…

      15. We are not talking about India, England, or Europe. This conversation has been fueled off of the political sphere in American society. People in the middle no choice to what? Who are these people?😌

      16. There are a lot of everyday American people who don’t fit into any category politically and who feel that politic is too crazy right now and they don’t have a choice… you know… moderates

        My brain shuts down after 11, so I’ll end it here for now.
        I want to keep debating though, so we’ll continue to talk tomorrow. Reach out, I’ll reply!
        or we can talk through any chatting app. It’s probably easier. Let me know

        It was a pleasure ✌️ debating you, telling why you’re wrong and hopefully, you learned something.

      17. There are a large group of people who don’t fit into any category politically and despise both parties.
        In polling, those people are bigger than those who describe themselves as democrats or republicans.

      18. You’re progressive
        I am independent and that’s how I feel.
        I got my citizenship around last year election and so those I’ve been thinking about what it means to vote and whether it’s even worth it in this world of extremes.

      19. You mean about natural hair? Damn
        lol
        I don’t really have a natural hair story, but I know that every black female has struggled with their identities when the standard of beauty here is so Eurocentric.

      20. Well, I think you have beautiful hair. You should post something about the products that you use to keep it so full of life and the different ways you style it…

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