Grasping the world at her fingertips with love, patience, and confidence. The world is ours ladies. Do not let anyone take it from you. Every year is our year. Opportunity awaits us. Soar!

Welcome to College.

From what I can remember, I have always been fascinated with big dreams and bright lights.

I remember before I even became a teenager, I had this grand dream of becoming the next biggest fashion designer and supermodel of all time! From my fashion sketchbook to my online searches for NYC apartments I knew I was well on my way and that I would become somebody.

However, not just somebody. SOMEBODY who follows their dreams while challenging the many expectations, gender roles, and stereotypes within society. Of course, as I grew older many of those dreams and aspirations began to evolve and transform.

Nevertheless, I am 19 years old and no longer aspire to become the next biggest fashion designer and supermodel of all time. 

Now here’s a little secret, as I stroll through the campus and city I call home, I, like the rest of the world’s population of college students, develop insecurities.

Insecurities that declare I am not able.

Insecurities that declare I am not strong.

Insecurities that blind me from my inner & outer beauties.

Insecurities that declare I will fail.

And insecurities that declare I will fall.

People have this notion that, as college students, we NEED to know exactly who we are and who we will become! The problem with this is that we start to believe such notion, leading us to put pressure on ourselves. But not the empowering or motivating kind of pressure. 

Insecurities that declare I am not strong.

The moment I have stepped foot on campus, Communications major declared, I have felt so compelled to plan out my life for the next four to five years, that I wrestle with myself, on a DAILY basis, trying to figure out exactly how I want to utilize my Bachelor’s and or Master’s degree. All leading me to question and wrestle with my identity. 

But as I begin to open my eyes, I realize that such notions are not relevant to the NOW. These notions I have are not detrimental nor are essential, nor should they be, at least not during the first couple of years of college.

Am I a Sophomore college student, still freaking out about my future and all that follows….. YES! However, I am learning that I do have time, as much as I believe I do not.

I know I have to just stay driven and passionate about the things I love and aspire to pursue in the future. I have to believe in myself. And so do you!

I may feel lost and like I have been stuck in an eternal limbo, but I know I have a purpose in life.

One must fall in order to rise, but if you aspire to rise, rise high for the sky.

I may not know that I want to be a Neurosurgeon at Mass General Hospital by the time I am thirty, may the spirits of positivity and success bless those who do, but I do know where my passions and aspirations lie. I do know that I want to build a strong career for myself. I know that I want to empower and inspire young women. I know that I want to expand on the Innocently Fierce brand someday… maybe hehe.

I am Innocently Fierce and so are you.

Most importantly, I know that I want to be happy. And you CAN and WILL too because I believe in you. But most importantly, believe in yourselves. I know the world is at my fingertips. Therefore, know that the world is at your fingertips as well. 

I know I have a purpose in life.

Therefore, I leave all of you mysterious and unknown readers with this: 

You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I’ll rise (Maya Angelou). 

You, my friend, will rise. 

XoXo,

Miss Lahens.

p.s,

To those who laughed in my face when I said I wanted to move to NYC in efforts of pursuing my dreams… Look where I am now haters. And take a guess as to who has the last laugh? I am well on my way to GREATNESS, SUCCESS, and HAPPINESS. Kisses.


Hey, if you are you or are not in college comment below and share your thoughts and or advice!! 

59 thoughts on “Welcome to College.

  1. Wow. Your words are as inspiring as always. They uplift and motivate me to proceed as a college student trying to “figure it all out”. Thank you

  2. As someone new to the college scene, I was rather overwhelmed with the so called “college life” and Everything that came with it. I never actually took the time out to slow down and think about why “I” was doing this. I instead focused on the Nay sayers and Not what it was that drove me to pursue college in the 1st place. But after reading this excerpt from your life, I can honestly say that this was that final push I needed so that when I look back I can tell all my haters ” Look where I am Now!”

    1. Aw, that is awesome! I am glad that this post was able to do that for you! I am a Sophmore about to begin my Spring semester. I have declared a major but haven’t found the exact ingredients that I need to pursue my dreams…yet. Blogging is a start for me. Hang in there and have patience with yourself. Explore your passions. You got this:)

  3. I left college very recently, and I am still trying figure out who I am.
    I think humans are such complex, we are the results of myriad of chemical reaction coupled with animalistic instinct guided by the gravity power of the universe and our nihilistic sense of being, that we will never truly figure ourselves out.
    What we do is build a profile and live with it…
    What do you think?

    1. I definitely agree that we humans are very complex beings guided by the gravity power of the universe, as you stated. However, I do not it is our nihilistic sense of being is what makes us believe that we will never truly figure ourselves out. Although I can see why you might think so… Truthfully, I think that we feed of of the profile society has built for us, individually, depending on our race, class, gender and sexuality, and somehow conform to that… but not on purpose but because the system has failed a majority of us. The system picks and chooses and or has already decided as to whom it supports… your thoughts?🤔

      1. “I think that we feed of of the profile society has built for us, individually, depending on our race, class, gender and sexuality, and somehow conform to that… but not on purpose”
        I think it’s on purpose because humans are still animals, therefore there’s a need to “survive” so we conform to what we perceived as norms since our teenage years.
        You can’t be on top of the evolutionary chain and not have some sense of nihilistic outlook on the human experience.
        “Cogito ergo sum”… Since humans are thinking entity, every single one of us will realize we exist, yet will know that we are just a blip in time… Whatever we do, we’re living a life where we a cautious of the ending, but not so much of the beginning.
        And I think that’s kinda scary

      2. I don’t believe in systems and all that bullshit
        I believe there was a past and the present is shaped by it, but we are in control of how to shape our future.

      3. Yes, true the past is what shapes the present. However, we are not in absolute control of how to shape our future. Not all of us anyways, and that depends on our race, class, sexuality, and gender. As a young black women, my future is somewhat already compromised because of the color of my skin. I hate that, but that is the world we live in… no?

      4. I can only speak for myself as a black immigrant male from a “shithole” country.
        I feel like kind of a stranger in this land or anywhere… I am just someone who is passing through and simply observing.

        I shake my head to what we do to distance ourselves from each other while yearning for a deeper connection with our fellow human beings
        We are in such interesting times in that for the first time humans are finally living together. No longer are blacks only in Africa, whites in Europe, Arabs in Middle-East and Asians in Asia.
        It’s gonna take a very long time before we figure out how to because humans never had to live equally and peacefully in the same place before…
        That’s why I don’t think so much about the role of race, class, sexuality, etc… play in determining our future because I am confident that after a bit of time it won’t matter anymore… because by then we will fully learn how to live together and break through the invisible class structure that shapes our present.
        I just hope that you see that your physical self is not your whole self.
        That last sentence somehow reminds me of two of my favorite quotes in movie history.
        They’re from the documentary: Gates of heaven
        “When I turn my back I don’t know you, not truly, but I can turn my back on my little dog and I know that he’s not going to jump on me or bite me. But human beings can’t be that way.?”
        “There’s your dog; your dog’s dead. But where’s the thing that made it move? It had to be something, didn’t it?”

      5. First of all, this is not the first time humans are finally living together. We have always ALWAYS lived together, just not EQUALLY. Second, yes blacks are not only in Africa and White in Europe…sure, however, those races originate from there and therefore are considered the majority. The United States of America is the only real diverse and culturally integrated country in the world! Remember that. Third, why would you not take race, class, gender, and sexuality into consideration? You think that blacks and white hold the same status? You think that a cis-homosexual black male holds the same status as a cis-heterosexual white male? Do you not see who is holding office right now? Pay close attention to our political climate Mr.
        And yes I am very much aware that my physical self is not my whole self. However, with all due respect I am not naive nor blind to see that my race, gender, class and sexuality hold some significance in shaping the experiences of my life.

      6. Yeah, I meant living together without the means of conquest and rigid class structure such as during colonialism.
        I’m sure it happened a few time, but never on this scale.
        I really don’t feel that the current political climate means anything in terms that I am no longer in control of my destiny. No one holds that much power.
        Yes, I really believe that cisgenders of any backgrounds are equal politically and that the past simply define their current standing in society. Those individuals are in charge of what they do in order to shape their future. Race, gender, class and sexuality only hold significance if you let it. They WILL shape your worldview but I refuse to believe they shape experiences…

      7. I understand your point of view. However, I just cannot absolutely agree. To say that race, gender, class and sexuality only hold significance if you let it, is absurd. Try telling that to the families who have lost their loved ones because of their race, class and or sexuality. You think those who died or committed suicide was because they ALLOWED their race, class, gender and/or sexuality to dictate their experiences? You think that just because I identify as a young black women who holds certain beliefs and values, I allow them to dictate the experiences I encounter in life? You really believe that your race, gender, sexuality, and especially class (as you deem class structure as the root of all political, societal and economical problems) holds no significance?

      8. That first question is too broad for me answer. I can’t give a definitive response that is supposed to answer every tragic case of death.
        For that second question, I just realized I misread the last sentence on your previous comment. You said: “However, with all due respect I am not naive nor blind to see that my race, gender, class, and sexuality hold some significance in shaping the experiences of my life.” I thought you wrote: “However, with all due respect I am not naive nor blind to NOT see that my…” Lol I thought I saw a “not” in front of the word see. So, of course I don’t, now I know that you told me it doesn’t.
        I didn’t say the current class structure is the root of all problems. I meant that there’s too big of a gulf between the top and the middle class with a lower class that is heavenly subsidized by the rest of society. America has become a nation of consumers to a level that is just not sustainable. I believe that happened Mostly because of the how easy and worthless money has become. Society needs to be more equitable and I to tell you the truth I am at loss on how to achieve that.

      9. If there is a gulf between the top and middle class with a lower class that is heavenly subsidized by the rest of society, then how is money worthless and easy?

      10. That’s literally the definition of money becoming more worthless
        A top 5% that control or has most of it, a large but rapidly diminishing middle class that produces little yet consume so much and a lower class that can’t survive without some kind of subsidies.

      11. Phew!!!
        How much time do you have? I think wordpress has a word limit lol
        To tell you the truth, it’s going to take years of data mining and reading to get to a definitive answer.
        I think it’s more important to figure out how to fix it…

      12. lol
        I meant that it’s too complex for me to answer truthfully and objectively without any bias.
        Metaphysics? I just call it philosophy trying to be science

      13. Too complex for you to answer truthfully? What does your integrity have to do with this? And oh too complex for you to answer objectively without bias, hahaha why do you think that? Where would your bias stem from?

      14. “To be some kind of metaphysics major”
        I though you said, metaphysics is philosophy trying to be science? And are you going to answer my questions, in reply, or not?

      1. lol
        Are you replying from your phone?
        That’s a lot of spelling mistakes in these last two minutes.
        To answer your question, bias comes from a mix of instinct and experience… I think

      2. True
        But as I said I’m passing through, I don’t a firm grasp of the time period between the passage of the civil right and now to give a definitive answer to the reason for the gulf between the Have and Have not currently.
        You don’t learn that shit in school.

        The current election has inspired me to do a bit of reading about it.
        Any good book can you recommend.

      3. Right, you are passing through. So, how can one who is simply “passing through” be sure that the systems of oppression hold no relevance or significance in shaping the experiences of people?
        And I do not learn that “shit in school”… What “shit” and where do I learn it from then?

      4. I’m confused now on how to reply directly to your comment. I’m not used to WordPress, so I’m gonna put it all in one comment
        “Right, you are passing through. So, how can one who is simply “passing through” be sure that the systems of oppression hold no relevance or significance in shaping the experiences of people?
        And I do not learn that “shit in school”… What “shit” and where do I learn it from then?”
        Now you are confusing and mixing two different subjects we discussed:
        1- “the systems of oppression hold no relevance or significance in shaping the experiences of people?” subject has nothing to do with the “class structures” that we are discussing now. The “passing through” was meant for the latter because as a stranger who has been here for less than 5 years, I can’t give a definitive answer for that:
        2- On that former subject, as a human being I can say that in my honest opinion that there’s no “system of oppression” and that all that things about race, sex, gender are problems that only exist mentally and hold no weight now in shaping experiences, albiet it does in shaping worldview
        Well, to learn about shit, you go to scatology school… LMAO

        “And why don’t you take the time to research, since you are just “passing through,” no?”

        I had no idea that we were going to be debating. If I did, I would have brought my A game. I’m talking about Melvin B. Tolson kind of debating skills
        LOL

      5. 1. I am not confusing nor mixing the two subjects together. They may be different; however, they are interrelated with one another. Systems of oppression have nothing to do with class structure? Are you sure dear? Do you know the major systems of oppression, if not most?
        If you cannot give a definitive answer for that, then why are you here? 5 years later or not.
        2. Race, gender, sex etc only exist mentally? Don’t you mean they are socially constructed ideals? To say they only exist mentally and hold no weight now in shaping experiences dismisses and diminishes people like MLK, Rosa Parks, Malcom X etc and events like The Civil Rights Movement. No?
        You and this worldview, oh my oh my! If such social constructions shape our worldview, wouldn’t they shape our experiences as the way we perceive the world is manifested by certain, events, knowledge, beliefs and all? You are like an intense small dog that does not know how to hold it’s bite. Stay focused hun.
        3. One brings their “A game” at all times. Although try learning how to play first😊

      6. “1. I am not confusing nor mixing the two subjects together. They may be different; however, they are interrelated with one another. Systems of oppression have nothing to do with class structure? Are you sure dear? Do you know the major systems of oppression, if not most?
        If you cannot give a definitive answer for that, then why are you here? 5 years later or not.
        2. Race, gender, sex etc only exist mentally? Don’t you mean they are socially constructed ideals? To say they only exist mentally and hold no weight now in shaping experiences dismisses and diminishes people like MLK, Rosa Parks, Malcom X etc and events like The Civil Rights Movement. No?
        You and this worldview, oh my oh my! If such social constructions shape our worldview, wouldn’t they shape our experiences as the way we perceive the world is manifested by certain, events, knowledge, beliefs and all? You are like an intense small dog that does not know how to hold it’s bite. Stay focused hun.
        3. One brings their “A game” at all times. Although try learning how to play first😊”

        1- I understand you meant system of oppression when it perpetuates to race, gender, etc… In that sense, I don’t think it is interrelated with class structure. The former is mental, while the latter is real. Plenty people of the same race, gender, sexual orientation are on the same ladder of society. What do you think it’s the major system of oppression? Because we both will have different answers.

        2- Yeah! even then, it was and those people in the Civil Rights movement fought to convince us that race didn’t matter and that we needed to move towards a more equitable society and break through the class structure.
        Hey! I resent that !
        I’m a six foot tall, 170 pounds of pure lean muscle. I’m a Doberman.

        3- I will bring my A game now!
        We need to debate more, but not over wordpress. Which chatting app do you use?

      7. 1. Seriously, plenty of people of the same race, gender, sexual orientation are on the same ladder of society? Are you sure you have only been here for 5 years? I would think, well most people would too, that if you have been here for 5 years, your knowledge on this complex and dynamic country would be a bit more… adequate. No?
        2. Are you saying such movements like The Civil Rights Movement was only needed to move towards a more equitable society in breaking class structure? Because today, there is still a pretty tight and heavy glass ceiling that has not been broken in order to create equal pay among the sexes. Can you agree on this? And can you agree on the fact that this is due to race and sexuality as well?
        3. You resent that? Ha, well, learn how to hold your bite. Sounds like a personal problem to me😊
        4. You will bring your A game now? Then why am I still here, replying to you? #checkmate
        5. Which chatting app do I use? HA! Honey, if I wanted you this conversation would have ended, here hours ago😌

      8. “1. Seriously, plenty of people of the same race, gender, sexual orientation are on the same ladder of society? Are you sure you have only been here for 5 years? I would think, well most people would too, that if you have been here for 5 years, your knowledge on this complex and dynamic country would be a bit more… adequate. No?
        2. Are you saying such movements like The Civil Rights Movement was only needed to move towards a more equitable society in breaking class structure? Because today, there is still a pretty tight and heavy glass ceiling that has not been broken in order to create equal pay among the sexes. Can you agree on this? And can you agree on the fact that this is due to race and sexuality as well?
        3. You resent that? Ha, well, learn how to hold your bite. Sounds like a personal problem to me😊
        4. You will bring your A game now? Then why am I still here, replying to you? #checkmate
        5. Which chatting app do I use? HA! Honey, if I wanted you this conversation would have ended, here hours ago😌”

        1- We’re debating worldviews, opinions, and other subjective thoughts… not necessarily facts so we won’t think the same, but hey Opposite attract. Technically I established residence late 2008, but I have been in and out so much that I just say 5 years

        2- Girl, honey !!! I don’t even want to go there because we’re gonna be here all night.

        3- Hey, do you know why a Dobermann has no tail and long legs? to make up for them big balls and long dick… Enough said 😜

        4- You reply because I won, but you can’t let me go. It’s alright! I’m used to it! 🤗

        5- C’mon, you wish you could quit me – Brokeback Mountain style.

        Seriously, I wanted to move our debate offline because all those back and forth is making your website kinda ugly, and I want to keep communicating.

      9. 1. We are debating worldviews, opinions, and other subjective thoughts… what happened to avoiding bias?
        2. I have time. Bring your “A game”?
        3. Do you know why men like you have nothing else better to do? Why don’t you tap into that “worldview” ideology of yours and figure it out.
        4. I reply because you won? Then what does that make you, as you are still replying too?
        5. I wish for some chocolate chip cookies and that you cultivate some kind of dignity.
        6. You need to work on your pick up lines. Not so smooth my dear. Try again.
        7. Are you going to waste time or are you going to quit hiding from the game?😌
        8. All those back and forth is making my website kinda ugly, huh? Then I suggest you go back to the third grade and learn some manners🙏🏾

      10. “1. We are debating worldviews, opinions, and other subjective thoughts… what happened to avoiding bias?
        2. I have time. Bring your “A game”?
        3. Do you know why men like you have nothing else better to do? Why don’t you tap into that “worldview” ideology of yours and figure it out.
        4. I reply because you won? Then what does that make you, as you are still replying too?
        5. I wish for some chocolate chip cookies and that you cultivate some kind of dignity.
        6. You need to work on your pick up lines. Not so smooth my dear. Try again.
        7. Are you going to waste time or are you going to quit hiding from the game?😌
        8. All those back and forth is making my website kinda ugly, huh? Then I suggest you go back to the third grade and learn some manners🙏🏾”

        1- Lol once again you’re confusing two subjects. Bias was from the subject of class structure and how we came to it… Focus! I know little minds have trouble juggling two different conversations without confusing them but I think you can do it if you try 😊

        2- I’m like a clock. I have nothing but time.

        3- 😮 WOAH! LOL Where did that come from? There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than telling you why you’re wrong 😊.

        4- Lol! I’m playing 3-D chess while you’re playing checkers.

        5- no milk with that cookie🤭 I’m the most humble guy you have ever debating a whole afternoon online. I hear that there’s a large pool of people in the same category… no small feat…I had competiotion

        6- WOAH 😮 where the hell did that come from ? what lines? My post ended after 5…

        7- I intend to win that game… I can’t wait to claim my prize. I heard it’s not too late for ice skating at the Rockefeller

        8- Woah 😮 where did that come from? Just looking out!

      11. 1. You claim I am confusing two subjects, care to elaborate.
        2. If you are a clock, why is it hard for you to tell time?
        3. If I am wrong, why is it so hard for you to win the last word? What is taking you so long?
        4. If you were playing 3-D chess, you’d know how to align your pieces better.
        5. Those with bias and close minds are not so humble. And it is spelled, competition.
        6. Your post ended after 5? Well, looks like you are not a clock as you cannot tell time.
        7. Ha, keep dreaming on that prize as she is not an object that can be passed around😊
        8. Are you going to keep stalling, deflecting, and hiding from the game Woodly boy, or are you going to play? Focus.

      12. 1- You said “We are debating worldviews, opinions, and other subjective thoughts… what happened to avoiding bias? ” The thing is when it comes to those subject, my answers come from stuff I read and thought about extensively so I don’t consider what I say on those subject to be from bias. I think it’s the truth. When it comes to class structure, I don’t know or haven’t thoughts of the answers, so my thoughts are really biased, not researched … basically just opinions… I can see how it can be confusing

        2- It’s time for me to and you to move that conversation offline.

        3- We need a referee here… A third party opinion… or we’re gonna be talking till the end of time… I don’t mind 😏

        4- Lol…

        5- I’m very humble. I don’t kiss and tell…
        damn it! It’s a typo… Don’t be a Nazi (◣_◢)ノ-=≡≡卍

        6- 😕

        7- I hope so! A prize is supposed to be exclusive 🧐. I won it.

        8- Its time for my nightly habit of “standing around in the club, drinking a corona, and then go home to sleep”. I know we’re not gonna be using What’sapp or Telegram but what about a kik or groupme 🤤

      13. 1. Is that all you got woodly boy?
        2. Ha, move this conversation offline. Right here is just fine.
        3. Listen, I have a brand I am running here. I am an activist on my own terms. I stand my ground.
        5. Do you know what being humble means?
        7. You won nothing but a doggy bone.
        8. It is time for your nightly habit of x, y, and z. Hmm… that was easy. Toodle loo and thank you😌

      14. You’re not innocently fierce…
        You’re just fierce

        1- You’re the second girl who told me this- Like I say the first one: “Damn, this is all I got. I can’t go any deeper. 😭 ”

        2- But… it’s kinda messing up your website…

        3- I’m bringing a bulldozer to tear you down… Were you at Time Square yesterday? Are you part of any charter?

        5- 🙃

        6- What happened to 6? I was damn confused about what you meant.

        7- Well I do like my bone doggystyle

        8- Lol 🤣 what club do you go to?

      15. 1. You clearly cannot read, otherwise, you would know what being Innocently Fierce means.
        2. There is a function called, DELETE.
        3. A bulldozer really? All I need is facts and philosophy.
        5. I take it that, with that upside down smiley face, you do not know what being humble means.
        6. Of course you are confused, most without a clue are.
        7. Was that supposed to be cute?
        8. The kind you are not equipped for.
        9. Are you going to try and actually make sense or continue to be foolish?

      16. 1- Danm baby! 😔 ! You didn’t have to be so mean

        2- Please 🙏 don’t delete me out of our life

        3- Me too and I actually know and fully thought about what I’m saying. I CAN FREAKING TALK AND WEAR YOU DOWN … over a nice, light and affordable dinner anywhere in the 5 boroughs… my treat

        5- 🙃

        6- 😅

        7- You offered me the bone… I didn’t mean anything. I just accepted the offer… What do you mean?

        8- 😅

        9- Sorry, my brain kinda shut down after 11. I want to keep debating. We’ll continue to talk tomorrow. Reach out, I’ll reply!
        or we can talk through any chatting app. It’s probably easier. Let me know

        It was a pleasure ✌️ debating you, telling why you’re wrong and hopefully, you learned something

  4. If I don’t do my research or think about it, then any answer will from a point of view of bias…
    Everyone is biased in a way or another

      1. lol
        Are you replying from your phone?
        That’s a lot of spelling mistakes in these last two minutes.
        To answer your question, bias comes from a mix of instinct and experience… I think

  5. I’m confused now on how to reply directly to your comment. I’m not used to WordPress, so I’m gonna put it all in one comment
    “Right, you are passing through. So, how can one who is simply “passing through” be sure that the systems of oppression hold no relevance or significance in shaping the experiences of people?
    And I do not learn that “shit in school”… What “shit” and where do I learn it from then?”
    Now you are confusing and mixing two different subjects we discussed:
    1- “the systems of oppression hold no relevance or significance in shaping the experiences of people?” subject has nothing to do with the “class structures” that we are discussing now. The “passing through” was meant for the latter because as a stranger who has been here for less than 5 years, I can’t give a definitive answer for that:
    2- On that former subject, as a human being I can say that in my honest opinion that there’s no “system of oppression” and that all that things about race, sex, gender are problems that only exist mentally and hold no weight now in shaping experiences, albiet it does in shaping worldview
    Well, to learn about shit, you go to scatology school… LMAO

    “And why don’t you take the time to research, since you are just “passing through,” no?”

    I had no idea that we were going to be debating. If I did, I would have brought my A game. I’m talking about Melvin B. Tolson kind of debating skills
    LOL

      1. LMAO
        The funny thing is I have a poster of Kendrick Lamar album in front of me
        It was a typo, not a spelling mistake…
        Both m and n are closed to each other

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