She poses on the sand at the beach, embracing every curve and every scar.

Storytime: My Breast Reduction Surgery.

August 10th, 2016,

Was the summer, following my high school graduation, in which I underwent a Breast Reduction.


When I was in my pre-teen years {13-14 years old}, middle school, puberty did not only take a toll on my emotions but did on my body as well. My waist slimmed down, my hips and thighs became a little more defined and my booty grew a little more round. However, my breasts were ultimately the main attraction as they grew a lot quicker and fuller than most girls my age. “I was blossoming into a young woman,” as society likes to say…

At the tender age of 14 years old, I was overly sexualized, by older men, because of my breasts.
“Pretty Hurts”

As my body began to change and grow, I was not the only one who noticed… Aside from family members and my girlfriends noticing, boys at school as well as men on the streets began to notice as well… Like, really REALLY notice.

But,

“I was blossoming into a young woman”

“Pretty Hurts”

Despite being young and at a point in my life where learning to love yourself is crucial, I began to hate my breasts and body as a whole. Everyone around me, including those I called family, objectified and highlighted the changes and growth on my body…

“Pretty Hurts”

However, what people do not know, especially those who objectified me is that I was in pain; emotionally, mentally and physically…

“Despite being young and at a point in my life where learning to love yourself is crucial…”

“Pretty Hurts”

I ran track for two years in middle school and although I had a lot of fun, I was in a great deal of pain. My large breasts made it difficult for me to breathe and run comfortably, ultimately, taking a toll on my back and shoulders.
“Pretty Hurts”

Now, at school, I was like how a rare animal is the main attraction at a zoo. Everyone pretty much knew me as the black girl with “huge boobs. Not for my brains, kindness, or personality… but for my ” huge boobs.

I was in pain; emotionally, mentally and physically…

“Pretty Hurts”

“I began to hate my breasts and body as a whole”

My body became a symbol of “promiscuity” to others and shame for me.

As I endured the shame and lingered in pain, I sought every possible way to hide my body.

I wanted to be invisible…

From long scarves, sweatshirts, to doubling up on bras, I tried everything in the book to make my breasts appear smaller. I was uncomfortable every time I had to put on a dress. I dreaded every Spring and Summer with anxiety and stress!

But as my desire and passion to empower women, by transforming the beauty and fashion industries came to light, I tried embracing these curves that shaped my body.

In doing so, I gained motivation and strength from celebrities who have large breasts such as Christina Hendricks, Kate Upton, and Oprah, to just live and deal with it.

I felt a sense of guilt, which weighed on my heart for a long time. I felt that I owed something to the young women I aspired, and still do, to empower.

But if I did not wholeheartedly love myself, how could I teach or empower them to love themselves?

I wanted to be invisible…

Not only as women are our bodies objectified, but they are overly sexualized in that we can never be taken seriously or respected because, one we are women, which makes us automatically sensitive or emotionally unstable, and two because of the size and shapes of our bodies.

But, the frenzy men have when it comes to our bodies comes from their will and belief that they automatically have been gained sexual dominance over us.


Moral of the story is to stop insinuating that women who walk down the street wearing a slim, short, red dress are NOT them asking for it. Enough of that.


All-encompassing, I wanted to share this story with all of you as it was and still is, an aspect of my journey to self-confidence. Before the surgery, I internally struggled a lot with accepting, embracing and loving myself, my body, and just who I am. And a lot of people who may have known me then thought I was this bubbly and confident young woman, due to the way I carry myself, which was, and is, not 110% untrue. However, the part they did not see was the amount of discomfort I had within myself, the amount of dislike, disapproval, and shame I felt..

I felt that the people around me did not care about the “beauty” of my brains, personality, and spirit; but, the weight of my body. And that is a problem in society, that we, women, are constantly subjected to the way we look, our aesthetic. From commercials to Instagram posts, we, women, feel the need to judge ourselves or each other on the basis of our shape, body fat, and size. Through the expansion of the media, specifically, SOCIAL MEDIA, perceiving each other as competitors is not for the attention of jobs or success, but for men. This has become so mainstream, that it has become embedded in our being.


I would love to hear your thoughts on this post in the comment section below. Be sure to share, like, and subscribe as part two, on the process and surgery itself, will be coming soon!

Xoxoo,

Innocyentia

8 thoughts on “Storytime: My Breast Reduction Surgery.

  1. Wow, what a touching story! I remember growing up going through the exact same thing and being oversexulized at a young age due to my big boobs and I only wanted people to know & like me for who I REALLY WAS & not my boobs. I also just wanted to hide! I thought I was alone and no one could understand what I went through. Thanks for sharing YOUR story! 🙂

  2. Wow, what a touching story! I remember growing up going through the exact same thing and being oversexulized at a young age due to my big boobs and I only wanted people to know & like me for who I REALLY WAS & not my boobs. I also just wanted to hide! I thought I was alone and no one could understand what I went through. Thanks for sharing YOUR story! 🙂

  3. Ms. Lahens,
    Another day, another enriched, inspirational post with a very important message as always. First of all, i would like to offer some male perspective in that myself, and most men that i know, are guilty of subjecting women to the way they look first and foremost before anything else when it comes to interacting with them. I have no simple explanation why that is the case however, i would like to ask you: What’s your best explanation for mainstream media’s motive of allegedly constructing all women’s perception that they ought to compete with each other for the attention of men?

    1. Thank you so much for reading and for your transparency! As far as your question, I am no expert as I am still learning the motives of mainstream media. However, I will do my best to answer! Now, I would have to say that my best explanation for mainstream media’s motive of allegedly constructing this idea, that women ought to compete for the attention of men, stems from the system called Patriarchy. Because this system grants men with sensational and absolute power, throughout all spheres of society, women have become victims and pawns of their dominance and control. This essentially leading women to compete with one another to obtain the same “status” as their male counterparts. By doing so, some women feel the need to exploit themselves, to men, in order to inherit the “same” status. This ultimately, fuels a competition, between women, as to who is prettier, who is sexier, or who is “badder,” because according to society that is the defining factor of what makes us, women, worthy or enough. I could go on and on in further details but your question has inspired me to write a post about all of this! 💡 Stay tuned! 😀

Share your thoughts!!