You can’t expect happiness, positivity, and inspiration to chase or find you. YOU have to work and search for them, especially if you desire them.
But, even so… even though we yearn, desire, and crave all three, why is it that we STILL prevent ourselves from living our best life?
Unfortunately, we all have done it… or are doing it NOW.
You KNOW this is true!
But hey, I cannot speak for everybody… I know that.
However, we are all human, which means we make mistakes, have insecurities, and have doubts about ourselves while having fears about life; leading us to ask ourselves, why do I stand in my own way? And, why do I prevent myself from being happy by living my best and positive life?
Now, keep those questions in the back of your mind as you proceed in reading my thoughts and perspective on how and why I prevent myself from living my best life and the steps I am taking to transform that into me, making an effort to, just living… my… best… life.
1. I punish myself for failing.
What this means is that, when I “fail” I punish myself. I deprive myself of enjoying and embracing the things I love like writing, interacting with people, and adventures, that allow you to experience all the beauties of life because I feel like I do not deserve to. But Oprah once said that, “failure is another stepping stone to greatness” and that “there is no such thing as failure as failure is just life trying to move us into another direction.”
Now, I know that I am not the best person at taking my own advice, into my life, however, that quote continues to remind me of my strength, my purpose, and my value by reassuring me that failure does not, by any means, equate to being incompetent, not good enough, or an individual that just sucks.
So, do me and YOURSELF a favor and try not to shame yourself for failing. When we do this, we break ourselves down, so low, to the point where we, again, punish ourselves… And for what? Trying? Not ok or a healthy life to live. If that word, failure, scares you too much, like it does me, try telling yourself that it is OK because everything happens for a reason and that it is a sign that you need to just take a new and improved route or approach, especially if you tried your very best and hardest.
I am training myself that I need time to heal, as I am deeply fractured inside, and that it is OK to need time to heal, that it is OK to not be OK. AND with that, I am trying not to shame myself or drown myself in self-pity. What I am learning and teaching myself to know for sure is that I deserve to live and enjoy life to its fullest beautiful potential and to be happy doing so, guilt and shame-free.
The keyword here, trying as
I am a full-time honor roll student, a big sister to two, a hardworking employee at two to three jobs, a mentor, a daughter, a friend, and just a good person overall.
All my written work here at Innocently Fierce that is meant to empower and inspire you inspires and empowers me too; even though I again struggle to take my own advice, a great deal of the time… BUT, I believe in it and know that it will resonate with my soul in its fullest. However, again, mental, emotional, and spiritual healing is a lifetime process that needs time…
Now, I know this because I recently I have embarked on my own personalized wellness journey of spiritual, mental, and emotional healing. By doing so, I have integrated wellness practices such as journaling, meditation, reading, exercising, and, fun positive adventures in my daily, weekly, and monthly life.
Patience with the process is important but… patience with yourself is key.
Although not easy,
I AM trying to live my best life.
Do me and YOURSELF a favor and try not to shame yourself for failing.
But bear with me, when I say this, and yourself because giving yourself permission and access to this may take time, especially if you suffer from low self-esteem and are very hard on yourself, such as I am.
One day at a time is all you need. And hey, I am here to support you on your journey. You are not alone.
2. I allow my bank account to define me.
I think this one has definitely played/plays a huge role in preventing me from living my best life. I was raised by a single mother of three who I watched wrestle with finances in order to keep a roof over our heads and food in the fridge. As the supermom she is, she did more than an exquisite job, if not better. However, as I matured and grew into the woman that I am today I noticed that I have become very very frugal in that I would/will not spend a DIME if not absolutely necessary. (Calm down, I am not saying that money equates to happiness and or living your best life. Please keep reading!) I did not because I trained myself with this mantra: if you don’t need it, don’t buy it. And by need I mean, if it is not an utter essential to keep me living, to keep me alive, then I do not need to buy it.
I hope you are taking notes to not do that, as such way of thinking will mess with your sanity.
But, now the more invested, connected, and motivated I become on my journey to falling wholeheartedly in love with myself, by taking care of myself etc, I am realizing that there is nothing wrong with INVESTING in YOURSELF, YOUR brand, and or YOUR business, especially if it is apart of your journey of mental and spiritual healing, to inspire others, or help others. If you do not invest in YOU, do not expect anyone else to.
Here are some examples of this:
- Taking small or grand trips/adventures✔
- Upgrading your business✔
- Not keeping your savings hostage✔
- Not putting 95% of your paycheck in your savings, haha that was/is me!… smh
- But I am working on not doing that anymore✔
Otherwise, there is nothing wrong with saving your money, as you most definitely should store some away!
HOWEVER, follow the 60/40 or 70/30 rule, NOT the 95/5 rule. That one will only leave you to be a prisoner in your own home and mind.
All-embracing, tap into your passions, the things that make you happy, the things that keep you inspired, the things that keep you motivated. And remember, 1) don’t punish yourself for trying. At least try not to. But if you do, remind yourself that you tried your very best, and 2) don’t allow your bank account to define you. At least try not to. Life really is too short to not experience the treasures it has to offer.
Living your best life does not require much. Being kind to others and yourself, setting and conquering daily goals, and/or experiencing laughter and a smile a day can do more for your soul, heart, and mind than you can imagine.
Now… go out and LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE, like NOW.
I hope this article was as inspirational and motivating as I envisioned it would be ❤
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